Excuse me, I have a very, very important announcement

Hold on everybody, I forgot to share a very important detail about the friends I've made in China. In case you didn't notice, they are all westerners...right? WRONG! I made my first Chinese friend the other day! Yayayayay!! ^_^

His name is Troy. We met in the gynasium lifting weights. See this is how it all unfolded, I wanted to use the bench press, and he had been using it, but not for a while. After the appropriate time of non-use I went over and began unloading the pansy weights he had been lifting. Troy, being the great friend he is, runs over and begins to help me change the weights. Putting my 20kg plates on, he released what can only be termed as a Chinese/Asian sound of amazement - 'waaaaaaaah!'. If you've ever met a real asian, you know the noise. It is full of pure, genuine excitement. So he introduced himself, we chatted for a minute or two, pretty stiff, but I had to get back to my program, I could hear Coach Kenny in my ear.

Later he comes up to me again, iPod in hand, asking for my information. Because I'm such a nice guy and also a little naive at times, I gave it to him. He appears harmless. This time I find out he's a marathon runner. My response is that his legs look like twigs. 'Waaaaah!' he proclaims, 'You are so funny'. Anyways, he's finished, I'm getting back on the grind, and my friend Julia the German comes over to say hi because she's a fitty and habits the gym as well.

3rd time Troy comes over...he forgot his card! Oh my, he tries to start chatting again..Sank you! Monday I will see you! Sure, Troy. He shakes my hand for the third or fourth time and then heads off. The next day, Saturday morning at 7:45 am, I receive an e-mail which I would like to share:

Hi Zach：
 
How's going? enjoy everyday life in Beijing. I will tell you something fun about Chinese culture. and I am very happy to be your friend. see you on Monday around 5 in the afternoon in gym. 
BTW: My phone number is 13811182349 Keep in touch. Plus, your Chinese speaking is fabulous. Keep going!!! You will definitely speak like a native speaker.


best wish
Troy


What can I say...my first Chinese friend!!!

Vote for Zach, the next America's president!

How's it going folk? So I've now been in the BJ for about 2 1/2 weeks, and things are finally starting to settle down. Classes have begun, I'm learning the neighborhood, and since 3 straight blue skies I've seen nothing but grey. Like I said, things are starting to seem normal. Nevertheless, some things I'm continuing to feel out; for example, all the different people here in BJ. Thus far I've encountered a wiiide variety of characters, all bringing a little something different to the table. The point of this update is to provide a glimpse of some of the personalities that I get to enjoy while I'm here, either for the next 4 months or for the entirety of my adventure. So let us begin..

Ariadna/Hazel - She is a Columbian girl who is a foreign languages major or something like that. She has that typical Hispanic air to her, loves to dance, loves life, laughs a lot, and is about half my weight/height. Lots of fun though, someone who brings groups together.

Guisy/Cristiana - Two Italian girls from Naples who are roommates. They are like sisters but sometimes I think they are lala's (chinese for you know what, but they really aren't). Let me see, last night I went out with these two and have sharp, distinct memories of Guisy working the pole on the dance floor. Wait, maybe that was last weekend..Hold on, she did it both times! Cristiana is more laid back, she's got an LDR so she doesn't lead with the hips ;-)

Simon(e) - Frenchie. Uncool, trendy haircut, track pants, quiet. Like watching paint dry or grass grow. Take your pick. We've already resigned to the 'hello' and walk past.

Sergei - Think of the name Igor, Vladimir, Sergei, and they all direct you towards Eastern European muscle/thuggery. He's Moldavian with a thick accent to match. He orders Vodka straight, and kinda stands off on the side and observes a lot. Loves Chinese women though, haha.

Manuela/Julia - Another pair of possible lala's. German though, which is badass and naturally attractive to my blonde hair and blue eyes. But still, another LDR. I don't get it, everyone seems to think these things will last, I try to not be too cynical in front of them. These girls are great though, very much enjoy spending time with them. Can't say too much though because they're the only ones smart enough to find the address of this blog so far! (which is so sad because everyone kept asking and it was just on my facebook page until just now). Oh yeah, and Manuela is a Mueller..but she rocks and umlaut which is so legit.

Sho - Well we've talked about him before. You're standard Blue Bullet. Small, quiet, studious, but suprisingly understanding of Western culture. In fact, we were playing some tennis yesterday and I even heard him describe something with 'fucking'..His English is improving a lot thanks to me.

Amanda - I dont even know if this is her name, but the only reason she gets a shout out is because is the 1 other American I have met at Beiwai (my univeristy). Unfortunately she sucks. Nice girl, but just nice. No substance. Stanford to Boston Consulting Group to Beijing. Boring. Also she made 1 comment that killed any chance she had. At the end of a lunch with a random group of Germans and Koreans between classes, during a semi-awkward silence, she pulled the "well this was so much fun! we should come back to the same restaurant and do the same thing every week!" I could only cringe. Serious deus-chills. But come on, does that not scream 'I can't find friends I need to resort to you committing to have lunch with me once a week!'?

On a side note, I would like to say that I am repping America very well. Multiple times I have heard 'you're so american'. Maybe it's my america t-shirts, my usa socks, or the fact that I wear my flowered lax shorts with calf highs, who knows? But they love it and hate to admit it. Arrogant, vain, but mostly true. Giusy keeps repeating this quote in broken English that she made up that may shed some light, "I'm Zach, and I'll be the next America's president!!"

Natasa - 28 year old Serbian language teacher from Belgrade. Has that thick accent that Sergei has and provides an interesting perspective on China since she teaches the Chinese. If only she could communicate it. Slightly crazy, if you want to hear more on this topic, e-mail me.

Lukas/Mattias - 2 brothers from Argentina. Just getting to know them, but if you couldn't tell, I've got a dearth of candidates to do manly male bonding type things. Crazy guys, my age, I can tell we'll see more of each other. I just think there is this 'cultural barrier' type thing that stands between me and the koreans/japanese that rule the psychiatric ward that I live in.

Oskar/Karl - Sweedes. If you've ever met a Swedish person before, I need not say more.

So I'll leave it at that for now. Obviously some characters were not introduce or do not need introduction (see Sam Earl, Sabrina Orlins, Steve Robinson). All in all though, as I begin to filter people in and out and figure out who will last and who is gonna be voted off the island, I realize that I'm on my own for the next 10 months. There are good people here, but sadly, they are temporary as well. It gives an interesting twist to every encounter/interaction/moment that I have. Maybe it's because I know that 1) they don't compare to you all back home and 2) 10 months from now, poof!

Miss you all back home, it's great to hear from you when I do! Please continue humoring me with e-mails and skype chats (tz.mueller).

Vote for Zach, the next America's president!

Signing off,

ChangCheng

I think the most commonly used typical Chinese sounding word/sound is ChangCheng. Surprisingly enough, it is just about as true as you think it is. It turns out that ChangCheng is the Chinese word for the Great Wall of China. This past saturday I departed on a 9am fieldtrip to the great wall. Now I've been before, and the evening before was my first Friday night in Beijing, so I was just going to see where the night took me. Being only one of the vets on campus, many of the beijing n3wbs wanted me to show them around. I figured why not I'm going out anyways, lets take them to Sanlitun which is the neighborhood where all the bars are.

So we sit down andd star to have some beers at some random bar. Everyone is meeting everyone - Italians, Colombians, Russians, a Frenchie (who unsuprisingly is boring as all hell). Next thing we know some guy on a moped runs his vehicle into a parked car right behind us. It was ridiculous everyone on the st stopped and watched, the guy got up, and a minute later everyone was talking again. No one stopped to help or anything. That's sorta how it goes in BJ. Time for a change of scenery. I take the group to the different club called Red Bull. Everyone is dancing partying, the house music is flowing, and all of the sudden I see this dance circle forming..Next thing I know I'm watching an black guys breakdancing and, best of all, chinese dudes working a pole. It was hilarious. I guess thats what Chinese guys do in their spare time..practice pole dancing. We leave the club eventually and run into some argentinian guys from our university. We've all heard about this club "chocolate" apparently some Russian style bar. Not really sure what that means, so we go check it out. We get their and go down the escalator into this flourescent lighted bar, and the first thing I see is this midget asian. He has the sides of his head shaved and is sporting a pony tail. The concierge, apparently. I chatted with him for a little my goal is to get of pic with this dude. But anyways, this place chocolate ends up being a hell of a swanky bar. Girls in bikini tops dancing on the bar, on stage, on the dance floor. The perfect gentlemens club. Cheap prices, beautiful women. Needless to stay I was out all night.

So the next morning came time to go to the Great Wall. I fought with myself since I had been there before, whether or not to summon the energy to go. Thank god I did. Honestly I believe it is the coolest place I've been to in the world. Let me know show you some awesomeness:

First of all, it was the only day since I've been here that I saw the sunlight. The sky is always this pale shade of grey like someones holding an off color sheet over the sky. But also, check out the mountain range. This wall doesn't go on for 3,900 miles across the Michigan, Illinois, and the Great Plains, but over jagged mountain tops. Tower to tower is not a walk but a hike. They say 1 million people died during construction of the wall. If you think about it, I bet 500,000 americans would help to build a wall between the 1,900 mile US-Mexico border to stop illegals even if it might cost them their lives. 

The Great Wall is also a sweet place because of the random people you meet. Let me introduce you to the typical 'old' Chinese couple:

Man, thats exactly what you would expect, isn't it? One of the more peculiar things about the Great Wall was that the first restaurant you see when you arrive at this particular spot is Subway. Next to Arabic Roasters organic coffee. Didn't see that one coming...but hey, the Chinese did invent the sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub, didn't they?

Classes started today, but this post is getting too long at this point. I'll leave you with two last photos of my Blue Bullet roommate, Sho.

By the way, he's passed out with his head on his desk right now. In the background an anime moving is playing on his computer.

Sayanora!

Getting your feet wet.

   Every time you are about to do something, you generally like to start slowly. LIke getting into a pool. First you put your toes in to see how it goes then you jump in. In my regard, I dove headfirst. Cannonball. Boom. Welcome to China!
    I think it all really hit me when I walked out of the international flights area at Beijing Capital to that area where everyone waits for people to arrive and hold signs with names on them. It was like red carpet treatment. Everyone (important to note all asian) is starting at you..are you John Steckleburg, Joan Matheson, John Doe?
    I managed a cab to my campus, followed some poorly translated signs, registered for my room and finallyr eached the door...to my prison cell:

    I kid you not. There might as well have been steel bars on the windows. I may appreciate it later in the semester when they would have prevented me from jumping out of my 3rd story window. You can vaguely see my new roommate, Sho something, the closest thing to a BLue Bullet. He hails from Kobe, Japan and is a nice guy, speaks decent English (thank god), but snores like I've never heard. Josh Tom gets put to shame. Hence, why I might jump out the window in the future.
    So when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade..right? WRONG! If you want orange juice go make some damn oranges. After waiting through 4 hours of lines to register, pay for housing, pay for insurance, pay for tuition, none of which I actually had to do because of my scholarship I went to the International Expert Office, aka the office where housing is taken care of (makes no sense to me either). Registration I might add is quite accurately described as a clusterfuck. Imagine 200+ people in a small room going through 7 tables that are not organized numerical but instead like a 7 point star so only lord knows what the hell is going on.
    I'm at the housing registration office and the woman is telling me there are no rooms available to switch to. I patiently give her my information, get put on a list, and will be given a phone call when a room opens. F* that. I need to take action. Next day, today, I come up with my plan. I find out you could have registered ahead online to book a room. I use this information to pretend I am being looked over, I registered during the summer, and I want my room. Damn, stubborn Chinese. She doesn't budge. I'm getting desperate. This is heightened by a quick memory/vision of the public bathroom down the hall with squatting not sit down toilets. I used to live in a castle for college, literally. This won't do. I pull out the big guns. How much money does she want? Amazingly she refuses. I tell her all the Chinese government officials are doing it to. She doens't budge. Is the US getting propaganda or soemthing? I thought everyone here was susceptible to bribes..I leave dejected, to my closet, where I am writing from now. My only answer is tomorrow I offer more money and to take her on a date, perhaps be her American boyfriend. It's all I have left. I can't prairie dog much longer.

Until next time..