'Tis the season to drink Baijiu..la la la la la la la la la

Good day everyone. It is a rare occasion these days that I find myself able to sit down and update this blog. But slowly and surely the posts keep coming, and with a little more urging from my Dad, we might get another one before the Spring Festival in mid-January. There is one reason and only one reason that I have the time/energy to sit down for this purpose, because the Gaopeng annual holiday party that took place 48 hours ago, Friday night, rocked so hard and kicked my ass so badly I got my first night of totally sober on a weekend last night for the first time in a while. So the topic of today's post?

Gaopeng Annual End of Year Party 2011

Wow. wow. WOW. Let's just start by saying my reactions are amplified because the expectations going into this thing were absolutely minimal. It seemed poorly planned out, the location was near NW 5th ring road on the other side of town, and when we left the building to board buses to go there, we got on, literally, rented public transportation buses that broadcast state television and even had the "next stop" videos going. A number of people (laowai only) thoroughly considered skipping, but the bottom line was I couldn't miss my first annual party while working/living in China. An hour bus ride later we arrive at the most unassuming of places:

I guess maybe the Red Star should have been a tip off, but it wasn't. I was such a sheep that I didn't even look around the crummy streets around the restaurant, but when I got inside, boy were my spirits changed, by Mao, nonetheless.

And then I got greeted by Mao's followers, our waiter and waitresses.

As it turns out, the place our admin department had booked was some sort of theme restaurant, a throw back to the cultural revolution days. There were propaganda pictures on the walls, the ceiling was covered in old newspapers and please again, look at the waiters and waitresses!

So the sun was rising, and as I stood there at the Operational Systems table in the back of the room, behind the pillar so you couldn't see the stage, I realized this night had potential. When we arrived the wine was on the table, a few canned beers were there, and food not served. We hung around for a little while, just chatting, and preparing ourselves for the onslaught of performances that were supposed to serve as entertainment for the evening. Each department had prepared something, spending time and effort and in some cases company money (instructors were hired), to perform in front of everyone (that's over 500 people). As the food got served, I had a wicked idea and went outside a moment. Thankfully, in China, next to cellphone stores, liquor and cigarette shops are the most plentiful type of store there is, just about one on every block. I had to walk only 20m and then proudly returned to my table to plop down 2 small bottles of baijiu, a Chinese rice wine that is a local Chinese favorite, is 56%, and has been written up in newspapers becuase it is known to make people go blind. My gift to the table caused some rustling and people to spit out a few, "hhhheeeeeehhh" and "oooooh"s. We decided to wait at least until the food had been served to punish our stomachs. In time, the first shots were poured, and I want to make it clear that when you drink baijiu you drink it with friends, and there is no better gift you can give a friend then a full cup of baijiu. I think the first two bottles were enough to give 5, maybe 6, people a drink? Everytime you take a sip, the feeling you have afterwards is fairly comparable to the ability to breathe fire. It puts a whiskey shot under the table, hands down. At this point my friend Mike looks at me and says, "this is a terrible idea", to which I reply, "this is a great idea", he shoots back, "this is a terrible idea", and I admit, "it IS a terrible idea". Once the recognition had been made, and we had a little more food in our stomachs, and the poison had begun to reach our bloodstreams, Mike turned to me again, "we should buy more for the management table"..YES! This is why it is a great idea, the creativity it encourages! So we go out, and do not buy two small bottles, but rather two large bottles. Walk to the front and center of the room to the mgmt table, congratulate the newly named CEO for the annoucement, and place the two bottles on the table. Everybody smiles, some people laugh, and others just go, "oh god". We leave them in time and return to our table in the back (shows you what people think of the nerd departments, same in all countries!) only to unfortunately discover that a co-worker, in true Beijing style, was pulling out and placing one bottle of baijiu (big) on our table. Ugh. Oh no, another one comes out of his jacket! And then, crap, even the guy that is driving bought on to watch us suffer. All in all they place 3 large bottles on our table, each the size equivalent of about 750ml or a fifth in the states, but each one also lethal enough to blind and subdue small-to-mid size elephants. As the night progressed, the faces got redder and redder, the bottles emptier and emptier, and much to my delight, the CEO and MD made their way back to our table in the back, and spent some time doing what every manager should do and I will do when I am in their position, drinking some baijiu. Somehow we became this back-alley table that people were coming up to to unexpectingly be hazed by us because their tables were clearly not as awesome as ours. The performances were fantastic, and extremely Chinese at the same time. They included renditions of famous pop star music videos to rehearsed-for-annual-party performances to things I don't even know what they were. I only got one video, but please just listen to the crowd roar at the end! 

Let's be honest, I have no frickin' clue what they are doing on stage, and then you see that huge burger prop that my boss gets handed? Yeah, that about sums it up. This place was so god damn enthusiastic and bustling it was such a great time. On the bus ride back, the enjoyment continued as someone had a random set of speakers and we didn't sit down the whole time, dancing on a public transportation bus riding around the ring roads of Beijing. Actually I think that is a great idea for a party, and will look into that one, keg-bus style. I got tagged in a Weibo post (Chinese twitter copy with 230 million users) by someone riding in another bus saying "I saw Zach on the bus back transferring everyone higher a little bit". By that point things were pretty fuzzy, but I'm pretty glad it seems I only made a fool of myself to the point that everyone could enjoy. However, we'll see how things go tomorrow morning at work, of course..

The mountain with the mostest

There is something about traveling, always, there is something. It's a unique and valuable experience to be able to take time off from life, put things on hold (whether they are okay with that or not is a different question), and see what life is like outside of your life. Honestly the best thing that happened to me this trip was forgetting my cellphone charger in Shanghai over the past week. It allowed me to immerse myself in a world that was just not 'my world'.

I was down in Shanghai to visit my friend Josh and be introduced into the couches he sits on sunday afternoons, his favorite wednesday night watering holes, and people who help him keep on keepin' on. I will say right now that it was a great vacation, for many reasons. I won't go into to much detail about the who the people were or what happened in Shanghai but rather keep this blog about me..because I'm selfish..and this blog was created to write about me. Shanghai is vacation but at the same time not so much. While I am becoming more and more comfortable there, learning the city, and it continues to be a possible next place to live, it is not different enough from Beijing (debatable but just stomach it for now) to seem exotic. On the other hand, Josh, my, and our 9 travel companions adventure into the heart of China was much more so.

On Sunday morning we aroused ourselves after, let's call it a 2-hour nap, to get to the long distance bus terminal. Long day of travel short, we finally arrived in Huangshan city. One evening of brown drink later, we again slowly woke up, had a delicious breakfast of eggs to fuel ourselves for the oncoming adventure. At no point up until the enusing events occured did any of us have any sort of clue what we were in for. The plan was to hike up Huangshan, then on the peak at 1800m (~5500ft) camp overnight, catch the sunrise, and make it down the next day. We began at about noon and began hiking. The first sign of things awry was the hike. It struck us that this 'hike' was merely a climb up thousands and thousands of steps. The actual distance we traveled was under 10km but the vertical we mounted was too large a portion of that. Up and up we went, getting hungry, but determined to get to the top, being bumped by the chinese that walk 3 across a 3 person lane and bumping the back, playing the ultimate time kill game 20 questions, and politely and willingly allowing photos to be snapped then angry and jokingly demanding 10rmb a photo, all the while enjoying ourselves. Finally, we reach the top.

The summit of the mountain deserves a paragraph of it's own. I repeat, the summit of the mountain deserves a paragraph of it's own. We stake our flag down on top at about 3:30pm and grab some food before the snapping pictures, enjoying the view, and getting ready for the night. As the sun is setting we start noticing the second strange thing about our journey. People are setting up camp. On the concrete tourist areas to marvel at the view. There is no grass to camp on, just hard concrete. Actually knowing how to camp, we scour an area off the main road a bit that still is concrete but in each square has 4 holes with enough dirt to stake our tents down. It's nice because we are off the main area, so when we polish off the brown drink we had packed to keep us warm, it would not inconvenience anyone else. At this point an officer comes up to us and starts bitching about where we pitched our tent. Of course, we cant pitch at that spot. We have to pitch on concrete. And also, to camp up top we have to register with our passports. After some serious argument which of course I lost, we went to the police station to retrieve the information of those who had not brought the passport along. It is amazing how fast and what they can procure with your passport number or even just your name. Honestly. After registering and finally convincing him to let us pitch our tents just a bit off the main grounds where there is dirt we get to work. It's almost fully dark now, so we get going fast only to be approached by a different officer. He harasses us and I try to tell him we were given permission, turns out the first officer just got off duty and had allowed us to spend the night in an area that was not his jurisdiciton. The site must have been divisioned because we were in a new officers area, and it was his mission to keep us protected from the wild animals. I kid you not. Now fully dark, we pick a spot, pitch our makeshift tents, which by the way were severly undersized. Think 3 tents for 6 people but actually going to fit 11. But hey, its okay, we need that body warmth because everyone knows that temperatures drop at night and on mountaintops.

It should be known that when we started the day we were hiking up the mountain in shorts and t-shirts for the beginning, but as we near the top we began gearing up obviously as the temperature dropped. By this point it is pretty chilly. We decide to go for dinner and start having some brown drink. After dinner it's totally dark and silent outside, we are bored, so we look at our watch and see that it is 8:30pm. Oh man, I haven't fallen asleep before 9 since i was eight. We walk to where we had originally wanted to pitch our tent (no problem to walk and be there just to sleep), and hang out for a while chatting in the dark with flashlights, bundled up in not enough jackets or clothes, playing games, and having some warmth. By this point it is a solid 50 degrees outside I should mention. It's cold but not enough to prevent us from changing the plans but its coming up in conversation. We keep drinking and playing around, occasionally going into the hotel they built on top of this mountain to use the bathroom, and laughing at the people sleeping in the lobby who rented mats because they didn't want to tent or couldn't get a room. If this was a movie, a crow would caw right now or cue some other ominous symbol. Around 12, exhausted, we walk to the lobby just to warm up and for some people to pee. It is now a very very solid 40 degrees outside and thankfully neither windy nor rainy. At this point two of our comrades begin to explore the hotel, wondering if this might be the better option. I go outside with a guy to take a leak and begin walking down a stone stairwell. Being a guy who loves to exercise his god given right and ability to go anywhere, we stop on the stairs, my friend goes to the right side along a mountain, so i obviously go left towards a wall. It's rather black and as a step forward, I fall into an abyss. This is no metaphor. I  did not take a tumble, or a spill, I fell into a hole. Luckily there was a wall and a window on the other side and I managed to grab the metals bars instinctively as I smacked my face into them and beat my knees and legs on the concrete floor. This very easily could have resulted in a lot worse consequence, like a broken ankle or something. Freaked out, I go back upstairs and tell everyone the what, why, and how. Our friend Peter then comes back from somewhere and I tell him that I fell into a hole. After I calm down and the adrenaline stops running so fast, we start walking back towards our tents to call it a night. Ka-plunk, Peter falls down the same hole, same spot, same goal, to pee. Couldn't make this stuff up, I feel bad because if I had only told him how I fell and not just that I fell maybe I could have prevented it. Oh well, it's only fitting looking back.

So we get to the tents, now pretty much constantly shivering, our numbers have dwindled from 11 to 7. We split up into the tents and according to plan, encouraged by brown drink fall into slumber....I wake up, the first thing I notice is the chill on my backside. I am on the end of the line of people so can only warm one side at a time. I am wearing a tank top, polo shirt, sweater, track jacket, and rain jacket. Not nearly enough. No blanket (yes looking back this would have been obvious but a) we didnt think it would reach freezing and b) wellyeah I just forgot it). My jeans and socks slightly damp from falling into the pit earlier and slowly acquiring that cold, numbing feeling. I can feel the person sleeping next to me shaking and having irregular breaths. Mine are not so regular either. I hug closer, but the cold nylon tent seems to hug closer to me too. Finally at the ripe time of 1:30am I call it an evening. Yes, sad to say, I caved and after 1 hour made the way to the hotel. I begin to search the silent hotel for the ideal location to place myself. As I soon find out, this is China and national holiday so most places are occupied. I start walking down the stairs and find at the bottom 2 of my companions spooning on a mattress (both guys). I am jealous of their spot. I walk down a hallway and finally decide to pitch myself behind a secondary registration desk. I nap a weird, brown colored type mat and wrap myself in it like a hot dog, trying to sleep softer and with some semblance of a blanket. I wake up at 3:00 shivering and see Josh staring at me, 1 more down. I wake up at 4:15 to Chinese people leaving there rooms and staring at the foreigner sleeping on the floor. I slowly get up, dry-eyed, underslept, hungover, a stinging on my face and knees, and still cold. I want to emphasize that when I toured the hotel I came across multiple open doors (which for reasons unknown to me I did not close) so inside the hotel was comparable to that of an igloo. The troops assemble and the stories come out. The two people on the mattress turned into 3 spoons by the end of the night. One friend tripped over my feet searching for his spot. Another laughed at the man on the floor rolled up in the mattress until he recognizzed the red jacket and new balances. He slept 1 floor up in the same spot. All in all, 11 campers, 2 made it through the night outside. So boughetto but we used a left over room's bathroom to do what we could to improve our hygiene and prepared for the sunrise.

It was awesome, looking back at photos it was a truly amazing sunset. We stayed on top for about 45 minutes while the sun rose and enjoyed that it would soon begin to warm our bodies, souls, hearts, and minds.  We started down the mountain and within 10 minutes it was noticeably warmer after exiting the peak. The whole way down as the sun was just rising was magnificent. There was not a cloud in the sky and the air was crisp, clear, and picture-worthy or which I have many. We finally reached the bottom of the mountain and gathered ourselves. On the bus back to the town I fell asleep just as the bus left, I woke up 5 minutes later to find every one of our group sound asleep as well. There is no question we left a piece of ourselves up on that mountain, not a doubt in my mind. We started as the trip as 11 and ended as 10 because one called it short due to general health problems induced by the conditions we put ourselves through. 11 started the night outside and 2 ended it. Two of us bled on the top of that mountain in that damned hole and my throat has hurt since we woke that morning (4 days now). But I have now conquered my first of China's 4 majestic mountains. And now I know what it'll take to one day write a post titled the man not the mountain with the mostest. One day..

On the Harmonious Line

THE BLOG IS BACK! Well, let's not count on it for now. I haven't shown the ability to post consecutively daily, weekly, biweekly, monthly, or bimonthly posts for some time now. But if I've learned anything from Phish, it's that you can milk a comeback/reunion tour/farewell tour as long as you want..I think they managed to do it for maybe 4-10 years and kept ticket prices going up every time. Good business model.

I am currently on the harmonious line in the middle of Jiangsu province. Jiangsu province is just north of Shanghai municipality and the harmonious line is the dubiously named portion of the now infamous China bullet train from Tianjin -> Beijing -> Shanghai. I'm not sure if it extends further in Fujian, at which point it would coincide with the section of track where the famously unharmounious events happened some months ago. That would be ironic, and well a small glimpse of a strange, unexplainable but widley accepted understanding of China. That something named the harmonious line would bring disarray, chaos, government officials fleeing the country, and the rescue workers valiantly pulling a baby out of the wreckage after they had pronounced everyone dead. A wise China-hand, Lucas Robinson, put it this way when I asked him about this story, he without pausing, bluntly replied, 'you know I bet they paid someone and put that baby there'. And honest to god, it made complete sense and I have since then adopted his view.

I believe maybe 51 weeks ago I came out with a blog post cursing travel in China during the national holiday. What better way to celebrate the founding of the PRC then for every god damn body in the country to mobilize? Why couldn't they just light fireworks, grill some meat, and have a beer? Anyways, I find myself dragged into this predicament yet again thanks to my FOB friend Josh Tom. Being the loyal friend I am (I write this line only because he was supposed to come to BJ but instead opted out), I am travelling to see him and welcome him to China 5 weeks late. Obviously any noob is unable to resist the lure of glorious China's multitude of Unesco Hertiage Sites and other worldly places. So for now, I am on the harmonious line to Shanghai to spend the weekend "playing", as you would say it in Chinese, at my favorite nightspot I have ever been to in any country (and that number is growing), have dinner with Natalie and Will, then on Monday go to Anhui province to hike Huangshan, one of China's 4 majestic mountains (I don't make this crap up). Finally we will swing around through Hangzhou and hold hands by the West lake, wait, no we won't, but that's what your supposed to do because it's so magnificently beautiful there. I do hope to make a photo album of silly brides wearing their wedding dress and sneakers in famous places, because, as anyone who has been to SE ASIA knows, that's just what you do after you get married. It doesn't hurt that everyone likes to get married during the October Holiday (so cliche) and go to Hangzhou to walk around West lake holding hands.

So stay in tuned for the next edition, hopefully with photos (more likely when I'm not on the harmonious line and can actually use a mouse instead of a damn track pad).

Oh yeah, and just in case you were wondering..I'm sitting in the 2nd car, so hopefully the death would be quick and painless :)

Because I have to.

Life is full of decisions. And some decisions, you need to abide by or take advantage of, because you have to. For example, tonight. I am an american, I get few chances here in China to adequately express my patriotism. I need to speak in euphemisms that require at least a 3 second lag if I want to criticize the government or talk about my secrets (just in case I run for office). Tonight that moment was when John Denver's "Country Road" came on the loudspeaker. I didn't want to dance tonight, but when that song came on, in that moment I felt an energy rush into my spirit and JACK ME UP!!

Life is full of other decisions like this, where you take advantage of opportunities or decisions because you simply have to. I got a job. It is quite easy to fathom this, but quite hard to fathom that I absolutely won't be coming back for a long time. At this point the minimum is 6 months. My new job should take me through my current visa and require me to extend for another 3 months. That being said, the job is good. I will be working for the Chinese branch of GroupOn "gaopeng.com", (order from the US!!). My goal is to in a few weeks be regularly touring smaller Chinese cities opening offices but we will see how the situation works itself out. Sad to say, but I will not be able to attend class anymore. In the past few days alone, I have noticed a considerable improvement in my chinaspeak. THere is nothing more satisfying, except for a redskins win, and I hope to celebrate next year with JOSH TOM (he might be showingup on a regular basis here in china next year, but that is his blog post.

So my only meaning is relaly to tell you that things happen. Life is 50% happiness and 50% pain. At least that's what a few good friends and a lot of Chinese people agree with. The great part is that I do what I want and have always wanted, but the sad part is that it comes at the cost of my life. Right now my life is about to change...why? Because it has to. There are certain people I may seee this weekend for the last time, but I will not forget them.
why? because they are awesoem.

Booyaa.

I just ate a dog, probably a really dirty one from out of a hutong. When in Rome.

Yes, that is right. I kid you not, sorry Charlie (that's funny because my dog's name is Charlie). Actually, I ate the poor thing a few days ago, ya know, casual Wednesday night activity. I felt the need to spice things up. I'll be honest; I was down, out, and for the first time in the 8 months that I have been here, was feeling a little homesick. I had one of those 'rock bottom' type moments, where you sit down, go through a period of self-reflection, assess your current situation, and decide how you want to go on. 3 days later, I am feeling quite alright, I can only say thanks to man's best friend for starting this upswing. So after my exams we had a period of vacation, which was fun but not fulfilling. I came out of the weekend just sorta low. I have one clear goal here, well two actually. 1) learn chinese 2) get a job to keep learning chinese. Well neither of those situations is quite where I want them to be right now. I don't have a job and I can always learn more Chinese.

Thus I have been making a push to spend more time with Chinese folk. There are some other activities I have been doing too, like buying chinese pop culture tv series, signing up for chinese state run microblog websites, chinese youtube (literal translation - potato web), and QQ. When in rome, but that's not the point. Sooo anyways, Wednesday night I met a friend of mine and we decided to go for Korean. It was an unfamiliar restaurant and the menu was highlight by stir-fried dog with sichuan peppers. In what situation are you feeling more adventurous than a casual Wednesday night? Honestly, life here is different because I don't have great friends (i.e. Lucas, Svet, lil Joey - man I wish someone would slap me then pour a beer on themself to motivate me sometimes..hmmmm) pushing me to do stupid things, which means, I have to do stupid things myself. I actually miss peer pressure. The dog was, suprisingly, not good at all. It was soft, oily, and perhaps undercooked. I did indeed have the hot stomach later that night.

Anyways after I got back to my room, I was finally able to establish my VPN again, thanks to Travis ;-). Going on facebook, getting back to my twitter account, and writing my blog was like someone took an adrenaline needle and stabbed my liver. Why my liver you ask? Because my ability to process alcohol has been at an unprecedented level these past three nights. Of course I was so invigorated I had to go to the Wednesday night special, 50rmb ($8) open bar at the famous Sensations club, only the watering hole where all the most awesome safari animals come to hunt and be hunted. I then followed up a dirt cheap night with one of those, let's treat myself well type nights and get a bottle at an awesome club downtown type night, and last night settled for the middle with a delicious plate of french toast and pancakes at 4:45 this morning. Okay so they weren't delicious, but like you know, at 4:45 am everything is delicious.

I had a 4 day weekend last weekend, skipped all classes on Thursday and Friday due to hangovers (sorry mom and dad), and effectively have another 4 day week right now, AND I still have Saturday night tonight plus the Pacquiao-Mosley fight tomorrow morning. I know some of you may be thinking, "what is he doing with his life", so let me hit you with some knowledge. I have discovered the best cure for homesickness. The best cure for homesickness is to be awesome. Go and do something awesome. Make the place you are as much fun as possible, and you won't feel so far away anymore. When I was home hangin out in the Escalade with Ein and Svet rollin up to BWI to go see everyone for the weekend, I had some uneasy feelings. I had been away for so long, and had NO idea what was going on in their world, but simultaneously I felt that I had never left. That's something special, and it won't be years until I find something like that here in China. So, the only real solution is to just take some time to treat yourself right and make sure everythings fine. The Chinese have this word '心理' which is often used when describe your state of being, it literally means heart-inside. Well, mine is good now. I am no longer feeling homesick, instead I'm ready to watch some awful Chinese soap operas to improve my Mandarin. When in Rome.

Long distance high five...from China!

This ain't over yet.

For a while there, I was had. I was down, out, and firewalled. Fortunately the American spirit is courageous, bold, and full of perseverance! We have taken the Chinese red flag and thrown buckets of white and blue paint all over it. Thanks to my man, Travis, over at Witopia VPN, I am back on the interwebs...freely!

Hope is fleeting, once lost, it is hard to recover. I read a great book while in Vietnam 3 months ago, recommended by my friend Polo, called Papillon. It's about a french guy, but it's actually cool. This guy was a convict (thumbs up), was sent to French Guinea (thumbs down), escaped for 8 months and wore a burlap sack with village people while diving for pearls (thumbs up), was idiotically caught, brought back, and attempted escape another ballsy 11 times (11 thumbs up). Twice he was placed in solitary confinement for 2 year sentences, and twice he came out normal (well sort of). But normal enough to maintain his vision of freedom and, in the end, successfully escape from the French bagne. It is with this fortitude that I have sporadically googled 'witopia contact' info only to be viciously denied time and time again. But in the end, the Golden Shield was weak, and I obtained the info I need to be put in contact with Travis, my man.

It is with this same fortitude that a man boldly withstands rejection at the bar. Yes, you can blame it on that experimental lesbian phase most women go through, but deep down the answer remains; you were not enough for that girl, even if that means you were not woman enough. Will and faith are powerful motivators. Powerful enough to encourage the repeated attempt to cast out your fishing line in the dark basement bars that exist not only on Church st. in Ann Arbor, or NYC, but also in Beijing (I <3 BJ). It is amazing isn't it, life as a metaphor for..life (not quite sure when my train of thought went this direction, however).

Anyways, it is with great delight that I post for the first time in roughly 5 months. And I apologize to my loyal readers for depriving you of awesomeness for far too long. The response I received when I was in the states for that far too fleeting blink of an eye was overwhelming, well actually, the fact that anyone even mentioned it to me touched my heart. Thus I now say with convinction that I will, with greater diligence, provide you with even more regular, even more inane, even more awesome material to feast your eyes on! Let's see how long that one lasts..