Gaopeng Annual End of Year Party 2011
Wow. wow. WOW. Let's just start by saying my reactions are amplified because the expectations going into this thing were absolutely minimal. It seemed poorly planned out, the location was near NW 5th ring road on the other side of town, and when we left the building to board buses to go there, we got on, literally, rented public transportation buses that broadcast state television and even had the "next stop" videos going. A number of people (laowai only) thoroughly considered skipping, but the bottom line was I couldn't miss my first annual party while working/living in China. An hour bus ride later we arrive at the most unassuming of places:
And then I got greeted by Mao's followers, our waiter and waitresses.
As it turns out, the place our admin department had booked was some sort of theme restaurant, a throw back to the cultural revolution days. There were propaganda pictures on the walls, the ceiling was covered in old newspapers and please again, look at the waiters and waitresses!
So the sun was rising, and as I stood there at the Operational Systems table in the back of the room, behind the pillar so you couldn't see the stage, I realized this night had potential. When we arrived the wine was on the table, a few canned beers were there, and food not served. We hung around for a little while, just chatting, and preparing ourselves for the onslaught of performances that were supposed to serve as entertainment for the evening. Each department had prepared something, spending time and effort and in some cases company money (instructors were hired), to perform in front of everyone (that's over 500 people). As the food got served, I had a wicked idea and went outside a moment. Thankfully, in China, next to cellphone stores, liquor and cigarette shops are the most plentiful type of store there is, just about one on every block. I had to walk only 20m and then proudly returned to my table to plop down 2 small bottles of baijiu, a Chinese rice wine that is a local Chinese favorite, is 56%, and has been written up in newspapers becuase it is known to make people go blind. My gift to the table caused some rustling and people to spit out a few, "hhhheeeeeehhh" and "oooooh"s. We decided to wait at least until the food had been served to punish our stomachs. In time, the first shots were poured, and I want to make it clear that when you drink baijiu you drink it with friends, and there is no better gift you can give a friend then a full cup of baijiu. I think the first two bottles were enough to give 5, maybe 6, people a drink? Everytime you take a sip, the feeling you have afterwards is fairly comparable to the ability to breathe fire. It puts a whiskey shot under the table, hands down. At this point my friend Mike looks at me and says, "this is a terrible idea", to which I reply, "this is a great idea", he shoots back, "this is a terrible idea", and I admit, "it IS a terrible idea". Once the recognition had been made, and we had a little more food in our stomachs, and the poison had begun to reach our bloodstreams, Mike turned to me again, "we should buy more for the management table"..YES! This is why it is a great idea, the creativity it encourages! So we go out, and do not buy two small bottles, but rather two large bottles. Walk to the front and center of the room to the mgmt table, congratulate the newly named CEO for the annoucement, and place the two bottles on the table. Everybody smiles, some people laugh, and others just go, "oh god". We leave them in time and return to our table in the back (shows you what people think of the nerd departments, same in all countries!) only to unfortunately discover that a co-worker, in true Beijing style, was pulling out and placing one bottle of baijiu (big) on our table. Ugh. Oh no, another one comes out of his jacket! And then, crap, even the guy that is driving bought on to watch us suffer. All in all they place 3 large bottles on our table, each the size equivalent of about 750ml or a fifth in the states, but each one also lethal enough to blind and subdue small-to-mid size elephants. As the night progressed, the faces got redder and redder, the bottles emptier and emptier, and much to my delight, the CEO and MD made their way back to our table in the back, and spent some time doing what every manager should do and I will do when I am in their position, drinking some baijiu. Somehow we became this back-alley table that people were coming up to to unexpectingly be hazed by us because their tables were clearly not as awesome as ours. The performances were fantastic, and extremely Chinese at the same time. They included renditions of famous pop star music videos to rehearsed-for-annual-party performances to things I don't even know what they were. I only got one video, but please just listen to the crowd roar at the end!
Let's be honest, I have no frickin' clue what they are doing on stage, and then you see that huge burger prop that my boss gets handed? Yeah, that about sums it up. This place was so god damn enthusiastic and bustling it was such a great time. On the bus ride back, the enjoyment continued as someone had a random set of speakers and we didn't sit down the whole time, dancing on a public transportation bus riding around the ring roads of Beijing. Actually I think that is a great idea for a party, and will look into that one, keg-bus style. I got tagged in a Weibo post (Chinese twitter copy with 230 million users) by someone riding in another bus saying "I saw Zach on the bus back transferring everyone higher a little bit". By that point things were pretty fuzzy, but I'm pretty glad it seems I only made a fool of myself to the point that everyone could enjoy. However, we'll see how things go tomorrow morning at work, of course..
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